My Biggest Trial and My Almighty God.

This morning I began a new personal Bible study in the book of James. As I was reading through the first four verses I had to stop and reflect on what God had just said to me in those four very short verses. It says this in James 1:1-4 “1 James, a slave of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ: To the 12 tribes in the Dispersion, Greetings. 2 Consider it a great joy, my brothers, whenever you experience various trials, 3 knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. 4 But endurance must do its complete work, so that you may be mature and complete, lacking nothing.”

This passage has been very evident in my life over the past year. My biggest trial that has ever happened in my 22 years of life occurred on December 16, 2015. I walked into my house in Lebanon, Tennessee to find my mom and sister weeping on the couch. There was definitely an uneasy spirit in the room. As my mom sat me down she informed me that my dad had been diagnosed with cancer. It was the scariest moment of my entire life. She had not told dad yet and was waiting till he got home, so I went to church that night. I couldn't tell you what the message was about, my mind was all over the place.

When I got home I gave dad the biggest hug I’ve ever given him, and he told me “son everything is going to be okay, you and I both know the Lord is in control of this.” That spoke volumes to me, a man who was about to go into a battle that most of us couldn't even imagine, had put his total faith in Almighty God.

As the days passed mom and dad went to get more test done, I’ll never forget sitting at the Cracker Barrel in Mount Juliet, Tennessee. This is when they broke the news to me that dad had been diagnosed with stage 4 neck and throat cancer. However there was good news that the cancer had an 85% cure rate and the doctors thought that they could beat it.

January 29th is my birthday. Dad had just begun his chemo treatments. We went out to eat for my birthday and he was so sick that he couldn't eat and could barely stand to be around the food. That was my first indication of how real this actually was. Flash forward a few months and he and mom went to get his port put in where they could distribute the chemotherapy in a more effective way.

In 2015 I transferred to Middle Tennessee State University from Cumberland University. As I said we found out in December that dad had been diagnosed with this cancer. This is a God thing, I had signed up to take all online classes for the spring semester. This meant that I would be able to take dad to all of his chemotherapy treatments. That’s something only God could do!

On my spring break trip that I took with my best friends in March of 2016, I got a call from my mom. The chemo they were using didn't work, they were going to have to use a more aggressive type of chemo and also they were going to have to start radiation. I was devastated. I didn't know what to do other than pray, pray, and pray some more. I’m so blessed with my three best friends Josh, Landon, and Zimmer. They were right there for me when I needed them and let me have space when I needed it, I couldn't ask for a better group of friends.

By this point dad has been in radiation and chemo for a few months now, he had the most positive attitude I have ever seen in a man who was battling the biggest trial in his life. The bad news was the cancer had began to spread. It started in his neck and had spread to under his arms and even to his chest. The doctors were baffled because they had never seen this type of cancer move as it did, it usually stays in one spot. The radiation was working on the neck area, but they didn't know what was going on with the other areas where the cancer had moved.

They began to run more test and concluded that the radiation couldn't fix the other spots if I remember correctly, so they went to meet with another doctor. They said that the radiation wasn't working so they would have to go to a last chance treatment called immunotherapy. If this didn't work they didn't know what else they could do.

As mom and dad told us this I quietly went up to my room and began to bawl my eyes out, I was so scared that I was about to lose my dad, my hero, my best friend.

I remember crying out to God and saying “God just give me some peace and strengthen my soul.” As I prayed for an answer from God I found it in the book of 1 Thessalonians. 1 Thessalonians 5:18 says “In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.” I had an immediate sense of overwhelming peace. I had a choice to make in this moment, I could've waived my white flag and allowed satan to consume me with doubt and fear, or I could waive my white flag and allow God to consume me in that moment with faith and hope. After I read that verse I waived my white flag to God and surrendered this battle in my life to Him.

Maybe not even a week after that we were sitting out on our front porch one night. Dad was already so weak from all the treatments so he was having to use a walker to get around, but I remember he needed to use the restroom. As he got up to use the bathroom I remember his legs just looking like jello as he began walking He struggled to make it to the restroom. That was the hardest part for me through this whole process was seeing dad go through that. That is one memory that will never leave my head.

The next morning mom called the radiologist to see what we needed to do. The next thing I know my grandfather and I are picking dad up and putting him in the car to take him to Vanderbilt University Medical Center for emergency surgery. The cancer had spread to his spine and the tumor had basically paralyzed him from the waist down.

When we got there I was oddly at peace and I think it’s because of the way God spoke to me through 1 Thessalonians. Dad was in the waiting room as they were prepping him to go into surgery. My uncle, my mom, and I were all back there and got to pray over him before he went into surgery. Dad once again assured us that “God is in control.” I just need to make the statement that I couldn't be the man I am today if it wasn't for my mom and him. That was the most peaceful thing I had heard through this whole process. Dad was literally about to be on an operating table that could have left paralyzed for the rest of his life and possibly even killed him and he said confidently “God is in control” that my friends is the prime example of what faith in God looks like. I became a stronger Christian from this process because of the way God used dad.

Surgery actually went well and dad was recovering. Fast forward a few weeks and he began rehab at Summit Medical Center. He was doing good and making progress, but the cancer continued to spread. We went to meet with the Oncologist and they told us that there was nothing else that they could do to treat this cancer as it had now moved to other areas of the body.

The doctor told us that hospice would be by to set everything up as they would begin to make dad comfortable. When dad went to tell all the nurses in the place where they administered the chemotherapy what we had just learned, not a single one of them had a dry eye, it was amazing to see the impact that he had on those men and women. They always talked about how positive he was throughout the whole situation.

Mom and I took care of dad for a couple of weeks. On October 25, 2016 one of our good family friends and a local pastor, Bro. Jason came to pray over dad. At this point dad had been in a deep sleep for nearly two days. As the pastor left, I had a church member who was in the emergency room, so I got dressed and left the house to go see the church member who was in the hospital. As I got about half way to the hospital I got a call from that member saying they were on their way home, so I turned around and began to head home myself.

I pulled into the driveway. I opened the door to the house. The next thing I saw was my mom look back at me with tears flowing down her face and her comment to me was “Your daddy has gone Home.” For a moment I had sadness but then I remembered that God had called me to “Give thanks in all things” and I was filled with the spirit as dad no longer had to battle this disease, yet he was healed and home with God.

I say all that to say this about James 1:1-4, I personally was going through the biggest trial in my life, throw some issues that were going on at the church in there, and I was completely overwhelmed. However I now understand that in these 10 months of pain that God was maturing me and perfecting my walk with Him.

So whatever you may be going through just know that God is perfecting you in your storm. I love what it says in Isaiah 43:2 “When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee.”

God is with us in every step we take through our trials and

through this life. We must understand that God is using this to grow us, its not meant to push us away, but to perfect us. God wants us to draw near to Him during our trials and temptations.

I have never felt closer to God than in the moments where dad was battling this cancer. I had nothing in this world but God, and He grew me through the struggle, He will do the same for you if you allow Him to have control of your struggle and your trial. Our trials are intended to perfect our faith!